In Response to Questions About Kali

November 13, 2007

I find it really funny that people think it is ‘none of their business’. It is totally your business, you’re my friend. If anything, I wish more of my friends would ask about her and how I feel about it. Most of them just pretend she doesn’t exist for fear of hurting my feelings.

It is really hard to see her not be able to do the things I know she desperately wants to do. Its hard for me to do most things. I have two children who cant walk and that makes going anywhere really difficult. I have never been angry at God but I have been angry that it flat happened. I have wondered if there was something we could have done differently but when it boils down to it there is absolutely no way we could have seen this coming and so I cant blame myself.

I do feel like my life is no longer my own, but what mother doesn’t feel that way?? Even my hobbies revolve around her. I have taken so many pictures of her. I even go to the gym for her. I figure she is only getting heavier. I already have a hard time handling her so I’ve got to get stronger.

When she was born and we found out she would have alot of problems, Danny and I sat down and talked about how this would either pull us apart or bring us closer. We decided to make sure that the latter happened. We have seen so many miracles through her that have inspired other parents in similar situations.

She has tested me harder than I ever thought I would be tested. I thought that high school was hard…I had no idea.

I have learned so much through all of this medically and spiritually. It has made my second child SO EASY! I feel like a veteran mom.

I have had some really hard times though. There was a few months when Kali was only sleeping about 4 hours out of 24 and NOT consecutively. We honestly thought we were going to all kill each other and I was really depressed. I felt so helpless. We had just bought our business and Danny spent a lot of time and energy at work. I was really lonely and even thought of giving up a few times. I prayed and prayed for help and it came in the form of a gym membership and some tough love with Kali. I used the gym to get out my frustrations and I went late at night while Danny put Kali to bed. I then would come home after she was asleep and go to bed with earplugs. We just started ignoring her at night since she was safe and she soon learned to comfort herself and relax. A little prescribed Valium helped too.

So this is totally long now, but I hope I answered your questions. It’s actually nice to have honest questions. Usually people give the line of ‘special kids come to special parents’. I’m not special. I’m just doing the best I can.


2 Responses to “In Response to Questions About Kali”

  1. sharrison003 Says:

    Karen, I am so proud of the way you and Danny have handled Kali and all the difficulties that have resulted from her rough entry into this world. I think you’ve done a fantastic job and I know it has made both of you stronger. I think it is really special how you treat her with kindness and understanding but at the same time not coddling her as if she will break. Kali is a very lucky little girl to have been born into such a loving family. I love you all, ggma Sheila

  2. Amy Eds Says:

    Well, Jon and I (Amy Robertson Hansen)think you guys are very impressive! You are doing a great job as parents! I just started blogging and it is fun to see other peoples things. So it is fun to see your blog!

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